Separation anxiety 

Right now I’m dealing with serious separation anxiety. My LO screams bloody murder when ever I leave her with someone else, even a family member. 

My SO celebrated his birthday on Wednesday and we plan to have some drinks on Saturday. That will entail leaving my LO with my sister for a few hours during the day into the evening. To try to ease this I have been leaving her for short times with my sister (who she knows) with toys and with her big sister around and my four month old just screams.  

I know of seperation anxiety usually from 6 months but four months is ridiculous. 

Now because of her blood curdling cries I’m up at 3:00am on Friday morning worrying about the feasibility of Saturday’s outing. 

My heart is beating no thumping, I feel nauseous, I have a headache and I can’t sleep. My nerves of being away and her crying endlessly till I get back is taking a toll on me. This is an avoidable seperation. 

I’m stuck between a rock and sever hard places. 

I’m slowing becoming depressed about leaving her.  I think it’s harder on me that her. 

All the what ifs play in my mind. 

What if my sister can’t handle it and just leaves her to cry? I know that won’t happen but my mind is plaguing me with questions. 

What if she is so upset she won’t eat or sleep or even calm down? I’d be far away on a boat at that and not able to come home! 

I’m a mess. 



Three cool play things for baby 

So I’m looking at various products and doing reviews. So I came across an article that runs down the top ten baby play things. 
I realize that most articles really promote expensive products 😳😳😳. All of their top ten must haves are well over $70.00 USD. 😱. I don’t think you should buy a play mat for $70.00 USD. 

Fisher Price Rainforest Melodies and Lights
I love this gym. The rich color was just very attractive to me and my little one is just enthused by it every time I put her in there. She is very stimulated and very comfortable. It is easy to set up and stores really easy when play time is over. Then when there is tummy time the mat has crickly materials (yes I said crickly) that she grabs at. She looks at all the pictures and laughs. I must admit I’m partial to the rain forest fisher price things. Any ways all this fun is for currently $43.00usd 

Bouncer chairs are a must have. Now I’m not sure you should go with this particular one but you can get great deals on line. 
Again fisher price. Again rainforest themed. Again great item. This is s boster seat , portable high chair (it clips on to any chair ) toy/feeding table. 

Normalizing the view of breastfeeding and Arousal while breastfeeding.  

Netmums of Facebook recently shared a video of one of their own Sophie breast feeding a child while laying in bed. The child was a boy, assumingly over two and was playing with his mothers other nipple. This sparked outrage, disgust and some encouragement in the community. 

A few weeks ago, I saw a screen shot posted on Facebook. The shot was of a mom’s status. 

This mom claimed that she masturbated while breastfeed her son and she enjoyed it. 
The sexualized breast is problematic for most persons (even moms themselves and breast feeders) to overcome when discussing breastfeeding. Breast are commonly seen as objects of attraction and not of vessels of nutrition. 

Admittedly, both incidents in Facebook disturbed me. There is a conversation to be had about arousal during breastfeeding. This is a thing and it needs to be given space to be addressed.  It also opens a discussion about age limits and when a mother should stop breastfeeding.  

Let’s speak about the video. The mom involved has a You Tube channel so you can catch the videos there.  

The video disturbed me. It’s not about breastfeeding beyond one or two. It’s about the way breast feeding was portrayed.  We in the breast feeding community have been trying to normalize breast feeding through education and awareness. We have advocates posting your breastfeeding selfies and candid shots. Then here comes a lady, laying in bed, breastfeeding while her son plays with her exposed nipple. 

Don’t get me (and a lot of other mothers wrong) there is nothing inherently wrong with the image. The issues is, that this image, like it our not affects the breastfeeding discussion negatively.  Some mothers commented on the mothers face and expressions during the breastfeeding session. Some moms commented that the act of feeding nor the child made them uncomfortable  but the mother did. 

I’d leave this discussion here.  Feel free to pick it up and leave me feed back. 
Now, on to arousal while breast feeding. 

According to Baby center it is completely normal to feel arousal while breastfeeding and it is nothing to be ashamed about. Life hacker’s Article covers it also. You see there are a lot of chemical and hormonal releases that occur while breastfeeding which lead to feelings of satisfaction and arousal. Also, for moms who have always been turned on by foreplay involving breast will still find it arousing. 

Acting on these arousals while a baby is present or attached to you is disconcerting to say the least! 

“Oxytocin, which is secreted by the posterior pituitary, has two major functions in relation to breastfeeding: a) a new mother feels her uterus contract during breastfeeding, and b) it is responsible for the milk ejection reflex during breastfeeding and orgasm.”  There is a really good but slightly long study about the taboo surrounding arousal while breastfeeding called Sex and Breastfeeding: An Educational Perspective

Fact is that is happens. It is normal. As a mother you have to compartmentalize these feelings and realize through research and education that it is normal but not to abuse this by acting on these feelings while your baby is present.  

There is so much more I can say but this article is a work in progress.  I need feed back and discussion!  What are you views? When should you stop breastfeeding? Do you get aroused? Does your partner get aroused when you breastfeed? How do you cope with issues of breast feeding? 

I want your food. 

You can most certainly tell when your LO is ready for food. At 15 weeks my LO was drooling at us eating, reaching for everything and sitting up unassisted with excellent head control. 

This time around with baby #2 I have decided that I am not buying any baby foods and that I will make it all. 

That’s all well and good in theory but we will see how it goes. I’m already cloth diapering (hand washing and line drying as we have a busted dryer) I’m EBF ( and she refused the bottle most times so it’s straight from tap) and am a SAHM and I run our family business.  Why not add baby food chef? 

Today I decided it was time. I was so tired of seeing my LO and her longing looks at my spoon as it went to my mouth. My SO’s best friend gave us a batman bowl set so it seemed like fate. 

I didn’t take this decisions lightly at all I first had to talk to my mom, my FIL and my two neighbours (who are like her grandparents ). They all had advice and all said lets do it. I gave a quick call to her doc and he said once she is displaying all the signs I was cleared for feeding. 

I then looked up what was the best first food and how I should go about introducing various foods to my LO. It was a toss up between sweet potato and avocado.

Honestly avocado won because it was way less work. This recipe Was amazing and easy to follow. (I added breast milk just to make the taste familiar ). 

IT WAS AWRSOME. I got her chair all ready, my SO buckled her in and we tried. She enjoyed it beyond our expectations. 

Let me just grab this bowl

I Dont Understand why she looks so horrified i swear she liked it

She responded to the spoon well😂😂😂

Even though it looks like she didnt like it she did


Because I’m paranoid I monitored her closely for an hour or so after and she was fine. She even breastfed after and is asleep. 

Now on to this journey. 

There are many resources online that can help you along this journey. They tell you how to prepare food, the time period for introducing foods, how long single foods should be given before mixing foods and a whole lot of other things. 

Find help at 

Wholesome baby foods
Homemade baby food
National health services in the UK
And for breastfeeding mommas who are concerned about introduction of solids while breastfeeding like I was check my go to resource La leche league

Is there an App for that? 

A lot has changed since our moms were giving birth. With the advance of technology, there actually is an app for almost everything!!! 

From ovulation trackers to pregnancy tracker’s there is an app for almost everything. There even an app for breast-feeding your baby. The question is, with all the apps out there do you need an app for that?

In most cases no, you don’t need an app for that. Realize I said in MOST cases. If you are struggling to get pregnant I believe that all the help you can get on your journey is important. If everything is normal, don’t confuse yourself or your process with an app. 

You don’t need an app to tell you when to breast feed your baby. Let me repeat. You do not need an application on your phone to tell you when to breast feed your baby. Once you have accomplished latching and your breast milk has come in most research suggest feeding on demand. 

There is popular thought locally that you MUST breast feed every two hours. My research has found that while babies regular eat at 2 hour intervals babies do skip feedings or require more feeds and “cluster feed” get more information on Cluster feeding.  I believe in feeding on demand. Do not go by a prescribed time and force feed your baby. 

My first, Shauneece, slept through the night from day three.  She slept from 7pm -7am most nights. People told me to wake her for feeding (she was bottle fed). The one time I tried the poor child screamed and screamed and was frustrated and flustered.  I never tried waking a sleeping baby again.

With Ari, she fed through the night (breast fed). She was literally attached to my boob for hours at a time. She co slept with me and was nursing for the first two months in clusters. Sometimes all day and night (talk bout stress). At three months she still feeds mostly at night while she skips feedings during the day. 

My advice is, once your baby is gaining weight well there is no need to worry about timing feeding. Let your baby guide you. 

As usual, if you feel like something is wrong and a little off trust yourself and speak to your doctor. You can never be to safe or too certain when it comes to your human!   

Have a nice day guys and please tell me what you think, and give some of your feeding stories here. I’d love to here how moms of multiples, children that are both very young and moms who have all babies in diapers manage at feeding time! 

Your significant others. 

The relationship between momma and dada is the most important thing in your household. I’m Of the view that only a happy couple (in the same home) can raise a happy baby. 

Yes that means your Significant other is more SIGNIFICANT than your children. You should make time to cater to their needs. Learn their Love Language and never lose focus of your mate. 

Pregnancy can be difficult for some and it becomes hard to keep focus on your SO.  Try innovative ways to show that you still love and cherish your partner. This goes both ways. 

It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new baby and all that goes with it. It is quite easy to be wrapped up in the happiness, stress, anxiety and euphoria of a new bundle with reckless abandon. 

I say try to not let this happen. Why? When you do you forget you, who you were as a couple, what you celebrated and loved as a couple, what brought you together. It’s easy for it to be all about the baby. So easy that a whole year (till your LO is three months ) or more passes and you haven’t really done anything for your SO that isn’t baby related. I don’t mean allowing them a break or a nap or a shower. I mean remembering what your SO likes and needs and catering to it for just them. 

Is there a special author they like? Have they released a new book? Do they like plays? What about a movie? What about that cafe they love or maybe that Spanish food? Do they love to get pampered? Maybe a spa day? 

Many moms I spoke to before starting this blog felt like they lost themselves after they made babies. Most of them were SAHM’s who forgot who they were before being milk dispensers, bottom wipers and baby carriers.  They lost their identity and felt that their SO’s forgot them as women. 

Most of these women felt that they no longer knew themselves and that their husbands no longer knew them. Believe it or not, some dads I spoke to felt the same way. They jumped into provider role and consumed their mind and activities with ensuring baby and mommy have everything. They lost themselves trying to be what they believe a man should be.  

It is the job of spouses to remind each other of each other. 

In my relationship this manifested in my SO organizing for my hair to be done the week after  our daughter was born.

 On my end, I seperated myself from baby for the first time to take my SO to see Batman vs Superman (because he loves batman ).

He also took my daughter (from a previous relationship ) along with myself and my mom to lunch to celebrate how well she adjusted to big sister life. 

On my end I made sure my baby girl could match daddy and rock her batman in style just to give them something to bond with. 

There are loads of other examples but these are just someways you can maintain your connection with your SO and help them maintain a connection to themselves. 

On a side note:—–An interesting article to read is this one on Infidelity during pregnancy  althoughi don’t agree with the tone of this article and hate the way it makes women feel like on top of everything else during pregnancy they need to also worry about their husbands, it is left here to give perspectives. It is here to start conversation.  Read it and let me know what you think. 

Daddy things. 

Sometimes I find it hard to hand over baby, even to daddy. I keep reminding myself that daddy time and daddy things are necessary. Admittedly my SO didn’t know what to make of our LO at first but I have seen him grow and blossom into an amazing dad. 

That being said.  It is hard being a mom and doing most things. For me I breast feed and cloth diaper. My SO can’t breastfeed and he has only changed about ten diapers in three months.  He hands her over once she cries sometimes (most times?) and when he has her she always seems like she needs to feed. 🙄 he spends way too much time in the bathroom and at the worst times. The list goes on. And on. And on. 
Am I mad? I don’t know. Even writing this right now and thinking about how he will feel reading this and wondering how I really feel experiencing this I still don’t know. I don’t know because sometimes I take her from him if she cries. Sometimes I tell him he hasn’t done the snaps on the diaper correctly a bit to harshly. Sometimes I tell him leave me let me do it. Let me do it all. Sometimes I am in my own world with her just methodologically moving alone and don’t want to be interrupted. Sometimes he doesn’t do it right (well the way I do it). Sometimes I want to make sure it’s done my way. Sometimes I can be controlling.  

I keeping having to remind myself that I have to allow time for daddy things.  I have to allow play and mistakes and learning.  I have to allow time for him to find his legs, his way of doing things, his way of dealing with our LO. 

I’m weired.  I want him to be here and help yet I want to do it myself or believe only I can do it. 

This is something I’m dealing with currently. I’m getting better.  I am making time for daddy things. 

Where did the naps go? 

So you finally sunk in to a routine. You are the proud parent of an amazing three month old. Then it turns four months old.  Your amazing, perfectly times napping friendly baby who you just got accustomed to has changed into a cranky, never napping, waking up angry, fussy to sleep little creature.  

What has happened to my baby!? 

Four month sleep reversion is a hell of a thing and it is a permanent thing.  It can be scary and stressful but it is necessary for the development of your baby. So you can take some happiness in the fact your baby is growning and developing just fine. 

To understand more about this visit Baby sleep site for their amazing break down on this. Oh also check them because, head up the four months is not the only sleep regression you would face. 

So now I go to face this screaming baby. Pray for me. 

The formula fed journey. 

So many sites, Facebook forums, articles and blogpost focus on the breastfeeding journey in its entirety, while there are hardly any chronicling the journey of a formula feeding mom. 

Some of you may be confused as to what I’m speaking about but ff moms also have a unique journey that deserves a space and a discussion. 

The journey starts with a decision, a failure, depression, bartering and judgement.  A formula fed mom can go through all these steps before even feeding their LO for the first time. 

For some it is a well thought out decision. They are simply not going to breast feed. They know the pros and cons and are simply not comfortable or confident enough and have decided that for their situation bottle is best. 

Some, like me with my first, tried to breastfeed and failed. This, coupled with a lack of breastfeeding support from family, lead to formula being supplimemted and then being exclusive, extremely early in my daughters life. 

In hindsight I see the many reasons breastfeeding didn’t work. I didn’t read much on it, as I thought it would be a “natural thing”. I bought a cheap off brand pump, I didn’t research ways to reduce pain or bruising and I didn’t understand the latch differences.

 I gave up and had to face the condescending looks when I went to clinic for the first time. Every breast feeding mama and well-to-do nurse had some advice and a few questions as to why the baby wasn’t being “given the best start in life “. I must admit I was ashamed. I began to feel depressed and beat my self up about depriving my baby of what she deserves. 

I struggled with these feelings for a long time. It was made worse when my baby didn’t easily take formula either. 

She was constipated, had acid reflux, consistently brought up or spit up (it was so bad that in outings we walked with towels not rags). I tried every single enfamil on the shelf. There are ones for fussy babies, gassy babies, babies who spit up, the ones closest to mothers milk, the soy ones, the this ones and the that ones and nothing seemed to settle my LO. I switched and switched until she settled on simalac. Then I bought every tim I saw because I didn’t ever want to run out and have to buy something else that I knew would irritate her. 

See the parts of the formula fed journey that isn’t told deals with all this. The constipated  and dehydrated baby who cries and whose stool is so hard it hurts to pass.

 It is about the half tins and wasted whole tins of milk that you bought which the baby won’t keep down. 

It is about constantly worrying about the nutrition and weight gain (and loss) of your LO.

 It is about praying you don’t run out of money just trying to find the right formula and hoping that when you find it it isn’t that expensive and that it is easily found.

 It is the making sure you have hot water thermos and cool water thermos because unlike boobs bottles aren’t ready on demand, they have to be prepared first. If too hot the worry is that the baby gets burnt if too cold the baby won’t drink it.

 It is about making that bottle and then the baby didn’t want it and it wastes and you worry about the fact that that is money going down the drain. 

It is about the leaving a bottle out and inadvertently picking it up at 2am and feeding a baby only to realize half way through and sit up the rest of the night monitoring the baby for symptoms.  

It is about formula spills in the bag, making a bottle when the Dan is on or in breeze, changing nipples and bitten nipples swallowed, cleaning bottles, buying more bottles, loosing bottles and not having enough bottles on the go. It is about the constant spending and spending and then some more spending just to make sure your LO is fed and healthy. Then it is about the questions and guilt. It is about the need to defend the way you feed your human. It is the need to prove that you are doing what is best in your circumstance in your life for your LO and your family.  It is the constant state of being judged and questioned. 

The formula feeding journey has as many ups and downs and intricacies as the breast feeding journey and should be recognized. 

Have you formula fed? What are your stories. 

The extra stuff – what to buy before the baby comes 

So you’re pregnant! Congratulations. The journey has just begun and you may feel a bit overwhelmed by all the baby gear, products and advice out there. You have no idea where to start as you are bombarded with information. You may be a new mom or a second time mom feeling like a new mom (like I was). 

  • You sit reading articles about Johnsons and Johnsons baby powder causing cancer. 😨
  • You research all natural products or green products but you realize they are made by the same companies that kill animals. 😳
  • You find the honest company and realize you would have to take a mortgage to pick up a pamper subscription. 😵
  • Then you hear that the honest company hasn’t been that honest. 
  • Tossing and turning and not wanting to do anything wrong you are more overwhelmed than when you were Jon snow and knew nothing. 

Pull the breaks and let’s talk.

You need diaper stuff. 

Plain petroleum jelly would work. You can do the zinc oxide creams; genetics is cheap or you can go for the more expensive ones like Burt’s Bees or Cetaphil. 

If you want to you can use powder, try to get one with out perfume for newborns. You don’t have to be brand specific there are generic brands that do the same thing. I personally don’t like powder but my baby has no neck and I really needed it. For texture and price I use Himalaya and it is awesome. 

You need skin stuff. 

You have a choice here between cream and oil. You really don’t need both for your LO. The best all is cold pressed extra virgin coconut oil. While it is expensive it will last your LO a long time once used exclusively for them. 

If coconut oil is not your thing baby oil is always an option. Again there are other brands than Johnsons and Johnsons so look around.  I like the Cetaphil brand buy it is pricey. Again it lasts really long and I love the smell.  

You need bath time stuff 

Besides a bathtub you’d  def need some baby bath soap or gel. I use Himalaya brand baby body wash and shampoo. It’s really inexpensive and smells amazing.  Be careful with the soap from them as it isn’t tear free.  Again as a guide avoid bath washes with perfumes and that don’t have tear free on the label.  

You will also need baby hooded towels. Surprisingly these  can be really pricey. Some places have them for between $50-$80. Look around and if you can’t afford use towels you have at home.  Make sure they are washed and very soft and once being used by baby is exclusive to baby. 

Medication and medical stuff

It’s always a good idea to have a baby first aid kit.  Safety first has a wonderful package and so does the Red Cross. A basic kit should include a thermometer, feeder/dropper/spoon and suction for nose. 
You’d also want to pick up a box of Ovol for colic and gripe water.  Please be mindful of the gripe water as the most popular one is Woodwards but this can’t be used on newborns. There is a kiddo colic version that is safe for infants.  If you can’t find Ovol you can use the little remedies gas drops. They are a bit more expensive and don’t work as well in my opinion but they do work. 

You should also have red lavender, Glecerin, a dedicated comb and brush, burp cloths or rags and washcloths.  

Feeding stuff 

If your like me you probably did research on the best bottles, bottle warmers, nipples , sterilizers and the like. I prefer the playtex bottles but I didn’t buy them because I got two in my Walmart Baby box (you should definitely sign up) I also got a tommy tippie bottle which is also liked but mainly because it is comfortable to hold.  I bought the natural line of Avent bottles with are my most used only because my Avent pump works with them. Again there are great bottles out there from Gerber to Evenflow and Nuby which are at various price points and are just as effective.  Pick up a bottle brush while you are shopping and some extra nipples too. 

If we are being minimalist this is a basic starter pack for all you need for you new born. Of course there are many other nifty things you can buy but you really don’t have too.  

Now on to gear. 

Car seat. Get a car seat. Once you child will be in a car get a car seat. For me this point is not up for debate. Car safety for babies and children is always the top of my list. Both my children left the hospital in their car seats. 

When purchasing a car seat look for one with a five point safety harnes. It looks like this. 

Also check the expiry date. Read this article to find out how. 

Look for the ability to remove the cloth cover to launder. 

Read all instructions on proper placement, positioning and usage of the seat before you make the baby. Read here 

If possible purchase a seat per vehicle or spend a little extra for a seat that will grow with your baby till booster age.  

Familiarize yourself with the laws that govern car seat usage. 

Always protect you child. Make sure they are buckled in correctly once in the seat even if not in the car.  

Do not attach your car seat to the shopping trolley this can damage the hook and make it difficult or can make it impossible to attach to the base. 

If your vehicle is small, purchase a seat that can be used with out the base.  This makes it smaller and more compact. 

Baby wearing do you need to?  

Parents who are advocates of attachment parenting will swear by baby wearing and the benefits or practing this time honored tradition.  In many cultures mom or dad “wear” the baby as they move around various jobs or even the home. This is seen as a method of bonding and socialization. Hey don’t take my word for it. There are actually baby wearing Facebook pages for trini moms! Check out 

Baby wearing TT for resources videos and information on this topic. 

You have options between ring slings, slings with clasps, traditional carriers, DIY cariers and lots more. I prefer to baby wear as my baby is needy at times and wearing while doing chores or even while typing up my blog helps me get things done while keeping her comforted.

Read part two which covers; Baby sleeping; Baby strolling ;Baby sitting ;Baby playing 

And part three covering; Transporting baby