9/11 and September Depression 

What’s the hardest part of September? 

For me September comes with depression. The weather changes, traffic increases, school starts and 9/11. 

I remember September 11 2001, 15 years ago, reaching to school late. My class was located upstairs the principal’s office so I had to pass the teachers break room before I got to class. I glanced in as I did most times but something was different. There were some form six students glued to the TV and teachers all around.  I was late, why weren’t they in class? I glimpsed the screen. I swore it was a movie. Tears welled up. 

All I thought was about all the people who had been injured. I continued watching. Tower one collapsed. I was lost. 

I remember heading to class in tears. Hearing the flight number I vaguely remember worry about one of my cousins and their trip to NEw York and wondering if this was the number I heard. I scraped the floors of my mind to be certain. Fear ripped through me. I cried.  

Getting home that day I took a taxi in. As the car approached I saw my mom walking. Hunched, more like crawling. Her body begging to make it inside. As the car passed her and stopped I exited and faced her. She was about one house away. Her face was contorted with worry and fear. All my fears came back. I was so wrong 

It was my Aunty. My Aunty I had spoken to the Sunday before this Tuesday. The Aunty who promised to make me my graduation dress. The Aunty who joked about my wedding, pressed my hair out like no other, had a genuine soul, an unforgettable smile, red skin, brown hair and an infectious sprit. 

You see she worked in the tower. I know I said the tower but that’s because there is only one in my mind. That. One. Tower.  

I remember mom leaving with my grandma and uncles. I remember my family who laughs all the time silent. I remember seeing grandma age. No AGE OVERNIGHT. I remember my uncle, in New York, missing. No one could find him. He was searching for his wife. He was deep in ash and rubble. He was on every corner and block. He was a mad man. 

I remember they called. They were laughing again. It was after the service. There wasn’t anything found to put in a casket. They planted a tree. They renamed a street. They fondly remembered her. 

There was a knock. The door was answered. Dental records were used. She was truly gone. 

Silence. 

A sigh of relief when the plane lands safely in Trinidad. 

A year later or so. The phone rings. 

Mom is at her desk at work. The phone rings. She answers. It’s the Us Embassy. “Are you sitting down ma’am ” 

“We regret to inform you your sister Clara Hinds was one of the souls lost……….”

Silence. 

Every year I’m bombarded with post on 9/11. I don’t know if any of my family actually went to any services locally. I’ve been to ground zero. I’ve seen her name etched beautifully in the pool. I’ve struggled to make it through the exhibit. 

I’m left with conspiracy theories post from people who weren’t affected, documentaries, articles. 

I don’t watch TV in September. 

I walk on eggshells around my mom in September. 

I wish someone would wake me up when September ends. 

Herbalife and breastfeeding. 

This post is going to make loads of people mad at me. This post must be done. 

Is Herbalife safe, or as safe as they claim it to be, while breastfeeding? 

No 

It is not safe. I don’t think you want your baby to be a test subject. It is explicitly unsafe while exclusively breastfeeding to ingest Herbalife or anyother weight loss product. Why? Let’s break this down. 

Logically anything that makes you lose weight, natural or not, can pass through your milk and affect your baby and his/weight gain. 

But let’s get a bit scientific. 


Above it the actual ingredients of the French vanilla shake. 

Fructose :- The American Nutritional Journal article on why fructose is bad should suffice. Since I know some won’t click the link Articles Mercola has a great breakdown chart I’d place here. 


Why would a herbal, all healthy good for you drink contain fructose? Why not a more natural sweetener? 

Here are some articles that will have you thinking about how fructose can affect your baby through your breastmilk. 

Fructose Malabsorption

Another study suggests ” that “Consuming fructose during suckling may result in lifelong changes in body weight, insulin secretion, and fatty acid transport involving CD36 in muscle and ultimately promote insulin resistance.” Suckling equates to the breast-feeding period in humans. If these results translate to us, it suggests that a child receiving fructose during the first year of its life may be programmed from day one for obesity and Type II Diabetes.” Fructose and Babies by David Gillespie  

So head over to google and see why you maybe should be having a fructose rich diet or meal replacement drink while breast feeding. 

Lecithin powder :- According to livestrong “Because lecithin powder can bond with both lipids and non-lipids, such as oil and water, manufacturers use it to combine the ingredients in foods such as candy and margarine. It is also added to cooking sprays because it helps keep baked goods from sticking to pans. Lecithin may also appear as a dietary supplement with various health benefit claims, but many of these claims are unsubstantiated by independent scientific research. Only take a lecithin supplement after speaking with your doctor and a registered dietitian.”

For breastfeeding moms, we know of this powder if we have suffered from mastitis. It can safely be used (in its pure form) to help prevent mastitis with little or no harm to the baby. Please remember this must come from your doctor or lactation consultant.  

Soy protein isolate :- it’s soy right? 

Most soybeans in the Us used to get this protein are GMO.  “Genetically modified soybeans are designed to be “Roundup ready.” That’s right. They are chemically engineered to withstand heavy doses of herbicides without killing the plant! What does this mean for your health and the health of your unborn or yet-to-be-conceived children?”

Hm m. Interesting. Also according to Mercola and many other articles out there, the benefits of soy have been very overstated. Here is a overview of what the good doctor has to say in his article on Soy isolate. 

Maltodextrin :- according to The risks of Maltodextrin this compound is another sugar used to increase energy. This is the second ingredient so far that is high on the glicimic index. The article explains that if one isn’t active enough this particular compound can lead to weight gain instead of weight loss. 

Breastfeeding moms know weight loss and weight gain are two factors of development monitored constantly by medical personnel on each visit. Let’s just leave that here. Again. Google. It. Do. Your. Research. 

Calcium and sodium caseinate:- Hello MSG! Yes that’s just what it is. 😳. Yeah. Fancy names for good ole MSG! 

Here are some links Truth labelingLife spaLivestrong and Health impact news

Corn barn. 😳😳 I don’t even know what this is and it’s the easiest to pronounce. 

Guar Gum:- say hello to your laxative. According to Life Science  “the gum can function as a laxative by forming a bulky gel that moves the contents of the intestines along. For this reason, doctors will sometimes prescribe the stuff to alleviate symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome or Crohn’s disease” I don’t think you want to be ingesting laxatives while breastfeeding. Just don’t. 

One herbal supplimemts page Share Care Inc warns that you should “Use cautiously when breastfeeding. You should read product labels, and discuss all therapies with a qualified healthcare provider. Natural Standard information does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.”

At this point I have only been through Eight of the ingredients listed. I’m already convinced that you should not take this while breastfeeding and be very cautions while pregnant. 

I am not a doctor, I am not a weight loss fanatic. I believe that eduction is necessary and that we should research to help ourselves. 

One more article that is of interest is posted by mommies favorite Kelly Mom. Have a read.  

At the end of the day I know many moms struggle with weight loss after baby.make your decisions wisely. 

To talc or not to talc? 

“IARC classifies talc that contains asbestos as “carcinogenic to humans.”
Based on the lack of data from human studies and on limited data in lab animal studies, IARC classifies inhaled talc not containing asbestos as “not classifiable as to carcinogenicity in humans.”

Based on limited evidence from human studies of a link to ovarian cancer, IARC classifies the perineal (genital) use of talc-based body powder as “possibly carcinogenic to humans.””

This excerpt is from the American Cancer Society article in talc and its link to cancer. 

Yesterday I did an article where I reviewed baby powder and many moms came out stating they do not use it. A healthy conversation was had that prompted my research further into talc and the mysterious link to cancer. 

In the 1970’s talc it hat was used in personal care products contained asbestos which is a known carcinogen. This caused the talc and personal care powders to cause cancer.

 Cases like that of Ms. Breg, who developed ovarian cancer after using Johnsons & Johnsons baby powder between her legs for 30 years, highlighted the possible link between personal care products containing talc and cancer. The New York Times Article here states that talc particles had been found inside her tumor!  It travelled up genitourinary tract and lead to inflammation which could have possibly caused cancer. 

It is important to note the studies are limited and causation has not been established. As the Cancar society stated talc can be “possibly carcinogenic to humans”. 

If you wish to be safe avoid talc products, especially around your genitals. 

What’s talc products? 

From blush to eye shadow to facial powder contain talc. It is not only found in baby powder. If you are worried about cancer being linked to talc I suggest you closely examine all your products, keep researching new studies and findings and stay on the safe side. 

Some useful links. 

Safety cosmetics
The FDA
The prairie land herbs
There are a host of articles out there. Remember research is still ongoing on asbestos free talc. The studies and findings will change.