“When you make a baby you know who your friends are”.
I’m sure you’ve heard this, and it’s true. When you’re pregnant you are surrounded by love and attention. The belly rubs and well wishes. The gifts and adoration. Well that’s if you are lucky.
You have friends promise to baby sit, people begging to be godparents, everyone beaming with joy about your baby.
Then the baby comes. “God Parents” fade away, shit half the friends never meet the child. Never make an effort.
You are now confined, your bundle of joy is here. Between feedings and naps and nappies you still long for a life. You miss your friends but no one calls. No one makes contact or understands that they can still include you.
Being a young mother is worse.
I was a mom at 22. My “friends” at the time dissipated. There was no one really. Not from the core group I went to UWI with. All of who were so happy for me, all of who probably had no idea how to deal with a new mommy.
I’ve lost contact with most of them. We are grown ups and are forced to think “well, we are all busy!” But is that true? Or are new mommies sometimes ostracized and ignored? Thrown to the side?
Having a new baby can be lonely and hard. It can be frustrating and tiring. With out your support group, it can be depressing.
In a culture of drinking and liming and not much else it’s probably the hardest thing to have a new mom who wants to take a lime.
I can’t even finish this post.
Call your friends.
Make the effort
Understand that a new mom can’t always call you
Bring food over and sit just to keep company.
Be nosey. Ask questions. Include them. Be a support system.
Postpartum depression is real. Postpartum depression can be deadly.