The relationship between momma and dada is the most important thing in your household. I’m Of the view that only a happy couple (in the same home) can raise a happy baby.
Yes that means your Significant other is more SIGNIFICANT than your children. You should make time to cater to their needs. Learn their Love Language and never lose focus of your mate.
Pregnancy can be difficult for some and it becomes hard to keep focus on your SO. Try innovative ways to show that you still love and cherish your partner. This goes both ways.
It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new baby and all that goes with it. It is quite easy to be wrapped up in the happiness, stress, anxiety and euphoria of a new bundle with reckless abandon.
I say try to not let this happen. Why? When you do you forget you, who you were as a couple, what you celebrated and loved as a couple, what brought you together. It’s easy for it to be all about the baby. So easy that a whole year (till your LO is three months ) or more passes and you haven’t really done anything for your SO that isn’t baby related. I don’t mean allowing them a break or a nap or a shower. I mean remembering what your SO likes and needs and catering to it for just them.
Is there a special author they like? Have they released a new book? Do they like plays? What about a movie? What about that cafe they love or maybe that Spanish food? Do they love to get pampered? Maybe a spa day?
Many moms I spoke to before starting this blog felt like they lost themselves after they made babies. Most of them were SAHM’s who forgot who they were before being milk dispensers, bottom wipers and baby carriers. They lost their identity and felt that their SO’s forgot them as women.
Most of these women felt that they no longer knew themselves and that their husbands no longer knew them. Believe it or not, some dads I spoke to felt the same way. They jumped into provider role and consumed their mind and activities with ensuring baby and mommy have everything. They lost themselves trying to be what they believe a man should be.
It is the job of spouses to remind each other of each other.
In my relationship this manifested in my SO organizing for my hair to be done the week after our daughter was born.
On my end, I seperated myself from baby for the first time to take my SO to see Batman vs Superman (because he loves batman ).
He also took my daughter (from a previous relationship ) along with myself and my mom to lunch to celebrate how well she adjusted to big sister life.
On my end I made sure my baby girl could match daddy and rock her batman in style just to give them something to bond with.
There are loads of other examples but these are just someways you can maintain your connection with your SO and help them maintain a connection to themselves.
On a side note:—–An interesting article to read is this one on Infidelity during pregnancy althoughi don’t agree with the tone of this article and hate the way it makes women feel like on top of everything else during pregnancy they need to also worry about their husbands, it is left here to give perspectives. It is here to start conversation. Read it and let me know what you think.