I’m sitting here with a glass of wine, my three month old asleep and I’m unwinding after a long day. I made a quick dinner of sauted mushrooms and baby spinach paired porkchops. My SO sits next to me playing a game on his phone while the tv runs on America’s funniest home videos. It’s a good Thursday.
Not every mom is that fortunate. Even I have been less fortunate than this.
This article is about postpartum depression. It would be remiss of me not to write this in light of the three month old and mother found dead of apparent suicide.
Parenting is hard. That is a fact. Newborns are hard. It is an adjustment. Breathe.
When my last daughter was born (I have two Shauneece is eight and Arlene-May is three months old) I had it rough. I spent time at my mothers house and my SO wasn’t there every day nor all night. You see we run a family business and that is at home. He needed to be there. It couldn’t be helped but I still felt betrayed.
My daughter would scream and cry and bawl. Even with the help of my mom and elder sister I was overwhelmed.
She has horrible gas, colic and breastfed every hour. EVERY HOUR.
I was sleep deprived. I was in pain (labour was a bitch and so was the weight I gained during the last month). I was frustrated. I was upset and angry. I was pissed off that things didn’t work out for my SO to be there. I felt alone even though I had my family.
I still had my father in law who came everyday and brought food and spent an hour or so with the baby.
I still had my mom who danced this baby to sleep. Who lost sleep her self. Who made me breakfast in bed.
I had my sister who spent her Easter vacation helping with the baby. I had my eldest and my neices and nephew helping.
I didn’t wash or cook or clean. I still felt overwhelmed.
I saying all this because even though I had all this and a supportive SO I still felt dejected, sad, mad, depressed and alone.
Imagine having none of this. No one to help, no support system, no one to make you food, wash baby clothes, clean, hold the baby while I showered (this is so huge). No SO to take you to get your hair done, no church, no amazing friends, imagine you were doing it all alone. Doing it all alone with five other children.
Breast feeding is hard. Newborns are hard. Recovering from delivery is hard. Never discount a mother who is trying yet is unable. Postpartum depression is real.
Postpartum progress Is an amazing resource to help you understand the difference between postpartum depression and posrpartum anxiety or OCD. It tells you about the time factor for ppd.
International postpartum support Trinidad and Tobago affords you the resources to speak to certified persons who can help you. There are also groups and sessions you can attend locally that affords you an outlet to express your self.
If you think pregnancy and motherhood can be too much for you, take the initiative and create your own mommy group. While pregnant you should be attending a clinic. This clinic should be in your area. There will be a host of mommas and mommas to be that you can create a support group while pregnant and keep postpartum.
Resist the urge to shake a crying baby violently. Resist the urge to hurt your baby. Reach out for help. This community is here to help. There are outlets for you to reach out for help.
Please take care of other mommas. Please be mindful of each other. It is our job to be our sisters keepers.
This hits home as baby Sidney was born one day before my daughter. She is the same age as my daughter.
RIP Anika Gabriel I’m sorry for your pain. RIP baby Sidney. My heart breaks.